Suits Me

In recent weeks, I have been attempting to write something meaningful and/or entertaining, but unfortunately inspiration doesn't grow on trees, and even if it did, it certainly wouldn't grow with any kind of abundance. Anyway, let me try again...

Lesson One: Lose the goatee... it doesn't go with your suit. Lesson two: Get a suit! Suits are cool...

Today I participated in International Suit-up Day with my good friend Syngeon, aka Synge-Banger. It really was worth the effort of bringing my suit all the way from home, getting dressed up and walking around campus full decked-out on a 30 degree day. I think I now understand the plight of Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother. The feeling of wearing a suit for no apparent reason is indescribable, I liken it to helping out a complete stranger, getting a box of cake mix down from a high shelf they couldn't reach, or standing up for the elderly person on the bus, or holding the door open for all your mates to go through. Wearing a suit gives you that kind warm fuzzy feeling inside, like you've a achieve something great, or made someones day...

It's amazing the number of smiles we got from complete strangers who saw us in our suits. We'd walk past a group of girls and they'd giggle. We'd walk past a group of guys and they'd be like, "nice!". Especially entertaining was walking past another group of guys all suited-up, and exchanging manly nods, just out of complete respect for one another, and the odd comment like "nice suits boys"... "Yeah, you too man!".

Most importantly though, suiting-up for the day just made so many people stop, and smile, which was the highlight of International Suit-up Day for me. Suits are AWESOME.

Robot Boy

I haven't written in two months. There's just nothing there.
I hate that I'm in love with you.

Life's Bluff

The world is a beautiful place. But life... life has a funny way of presenting to you on a platter everything you ever wanted, giving you but a taste, and then ripping it away from you in an instant. And then it kicks you when you're down. It's all just a big bluff. Life demands your full attention, it covers your whole world in a dark and cloudy veil, and soon you can't see anything, you stop appreciating everything. Not even the blatantly beautiful is beautiful.

Recently, this is what has been happening to me. It's hard to explain, but, I just got so caught up in the trials and tribulations on my life, I actually forgot to keep living it. I forgot to do what I normally do; walk slowly, smell the fresh air, listen to the birds, appreciate the bright blue sky.

You know many weeks ago, I posted a quote by Mohinder Suresh (from Heroes), "The First Blush in Winter". It was about having this sense of a moment, a moment of change, like a feeling in the air. Tension that thickens the atmosphere, ever present is the feeling that something's got to give. And after this moment, everything changes. Like the proteins of an egg under the heat of fire, the whole structure of your life - everything you had worked for, everything that you thought you were, that you thought you could be - changes. Once the proteins have denatured, there's no going back. You can't rewrite the past, and you can't turn that hard boiled egg back into liquid.

So anyway, if you could pin-point that exact moment in your past, and if you could go back in time, and change it... would you? Ironically, a few days after I posted "The First Blush in Winter", that moment occurred in my life. The moment where, had I acted a little differently, said a few more things, my whole life could have been so completely different, and better. Yes, I would travel back into the past, to that moment which I have identified, and I would tell myself to act differently. To be braver. To not be so naive, so utterly naive.

I know it is stupid, and dangerous to dwell on the past like this. That boat has sailed; that life is now but a distant memory, and the last slivers of hope are now fading away. But I got so caught up in it. I was so invested. It's hard to just forget everything that has happened, and I just can't help but kick myself with the thoughts of how things could have been.

So now comes the time to make my decision. Play my move. Do I hold on, hope, pray that what has just transpired is not what it seems? Pretend that this morning I woke up to a bad dream, and soon I will wake up to a brighter world? Or do I move on? Accept my punishments? Let this be a release to free my ever-so-weary mind? Yes! That's what I'll do. I'll call life's bluff. Take this as a lesson, learn from it, never make those mistakes again, and start enjoying life for what is already there, and not what could be.

Maybe that moment hasn't occurred yet. Maybe that moment is now...

On Risotto and Life

I will admit that the idea of this post came to me while making dinner for my family. I found out earlier this evening that the tiresome process of cooking a risotto gives you way too much time to think. The constant pouring of stock and stirring, round and round, until the liquid is absorbed, got my tired little mind racing, mulling over every aspect of my life, loosing myself in the contents of that pot sitting over medium heat...

You see, cooking risotto represents life in many ways. While cooking your risotto, you have to repeat the same steps, over and over; pour in the stock, and stir, round and round and round. At first you stare at your rice and liquid mix, and you begin to wonder if all that liquid will ever be absorbed. But look away, or let your mind wander for a few minutes, and suddenly, the liquid is gone! Life is very much the same - you go through the motions of daily life; get out of bed, go to school/work, get home, have dinner, go to sleep, get up the next morning and do it all again. Round and round and round. Then suddenly one day, just like the stock in your risotto, you realise that a large part of your life has disappeared, and you didn't even notice. Blink and you'll miss it!

Cooking a risotto takes a lot time and effort, and when you finally get to eat it, delicious as it may be, it is over all-too quickly. You feel disappointed that you didn't get more out of all the hard work you put in. I guess the message is, as hard and labourious as it is - enjoy cooking the risotto! Enjoy every stir of the pot, and find happiness in every cup of stock you pour in. Going through the motions will take up a majority of your life, so make these times as memorable as the delicious meal itself!

The Longing for Home

For the first time in a long time, I miss Christmas Island.

When I was there, I never really appreciated it. The true beauty of it all. The people, the culture, the surrounding environment, the warm tropical air and the smell of the damp jungle when the rains of the wet season have well and truly taken hold. I close my eyes and I see the big, black frigates soar overhead, and I hear the rustling of the leaf-liter as the first of the red migrants emerge and begin their dash to the sea.

I smell the incense burn as my bare feet slide across the white cool tiles of the temple at South Point, being there you have the feeling you are a part of something more. The sense of culture engulfs me as prayer rings out from the mosque in the evenings. To be able to celebrate Christmas, Ramadan and Chinese New Year all in the one year for a brief period in time fools me into believing that the world is a unified place.

How I would love to go back there, even for just a week; as a scientist, as an adult, and as a more appreciative person. Just to be able to sit and watch the fascinating wildlife, and walk through the rain forest, and stand under that waterfall at The Dales and feel that ice cool water on my skin. To snorkel in the ever-warm waters, and fish off the end of the jetty, and immerse myself in the wonderful history of that tiny, dog-shaped speck in the middle of the Indian Ocean.

I don't know what has brought about this reminiscence. I think maybe the ever-bright city lights are starting to take their toll. The thick air and loud noises and repetitive lifestyle are eating at me. How I would love to escape, back to that little Island, and lose myself in the warm tropical air. I think it's human nature, and nature in general, this yearning for peace, and familiarity, after a long time away. The longing for home.

The First Blush in Winter

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose. The Earth spins at a thousand miles an hour as we desperately try to keep from being thrown off. Like the first blush in winter that signals a great migration. Is there any warning of their arrival? A sign, a single event that set this chain into motion? Was it a whisper in God's ear? Survive. Adapt. Escape. And if we could mark our single moment in time, that first hint of a prophecy of approaching danger... would we have done anything differently? Could it have been stopped? Or was the die long ago cast? And if we could go back, alter its course, stop it from happening... would we?" - Mohinder Suresh

Crossroads

Just like Frodo and Sam in The Lord of the Rings, or Richard Winters and Easy Company in Holland, 1945, I feel I have reached a significant point in my journey. I'm at the crossroads. From here, my life could go in any direction, North, South, East or West. Towards the sunrise, towards the sunset, towards the ocean, or back the way I came.

The problem is, really confused about which direction I need to take. Whichever road I choose means I gain something significant, and sacrifice some things I love. So I stand in the middle of the crossroads, and I turn, and I turn again. I look right, I look left, take a step in one direction, and pull my foot back hesitantly. And after all this, I am back where I started, still standing in the middle of my crossroads.