Oktoberfest 2009: The Story

4:30 - 5:00 pm: After getting to the Oktoberfest field, the signs blatantly read "No pass outs", much to Alex's disappointment as he had to wait for a friend to come from Murdoch (Alex's use of the word "fuck" greatly increased at that point). But there was to be no waiting around today, and in we went! We got given plastic steins, of which we were all a little disappointed about, although we eventually agreed it a smart move by the organisers. First stop was to visit Phil Groom, one of our lecturers, at the first aid tent. We bid him farewell and hoped not to see him again that night. Finally, it was time to get what we all so dearly wanted: Beer. "Best beer I've had all day" I cheekily remarked. "Chris, it's the only beer you had all day" Alex much too soberly reminded me.

Oh yeah, by this point Alex's friend James had decided, just as we walked through the gates, that he wasn't going to come. And so the 3 hour long hunt began to find someone to buy it (by this time I had never heard Alex say the word "fuck" so many times).

Alright, this is where the memory starts to get a little bit hazy. I will try and piece it together as well as possible from a variety of text messages and what little fragments of memory I have left.

Around 5:20 pm: I think it was around this time when we abandoned Caitlin, Nic and Robbie and were in the line for a second beer, when I bumped into my old friend from school, Carla. It was nice to see her, as it always is seeing an old friend. Of course, Trish was meeting people she knew left, right and center. Everytime we went for a walk we would spend one minute walking and ten talking to a bunch of Trish's friends (we ended up moving a grand total of about ten meters in half an hour). I also remember a girl coming up to me and telling me that she was going to go back outside and jump the fence back in, just to prove that she could... ok then.

Around 6 pm: At this time I had purchased some kind of dark beer, by accident of course. I just went for the one on the end, and it tasted disgusting... no wonder there was nobody lining up! It must have taken me over an hour to finish it, it was rank! Anyway, finally the rest of the Environmental Biologists arrived, along with Kurt, who would continue to haunt me all night.

6:10 pm: I called Caitlin, but I couldn't hear her over the noise so the conversation consisted of many "what?'s" and "Huh?'s" and "Ok?'s". I was supposed message her my location, but I didn't - I forgot, or just couldn't be bothered.

6:13 pm: Text message received from Alex: "Where u at". I think at this time Neil, Lina, Trish and myself were lining up for the cubicals. I didn't get back to him until 6:46.

6:17 pm: I got a message from dad, something about going to the football tomorrow. Unfortunately by this point my hand-eye coordination was far too insufficient to reply anything other than a few mangled words, so in the pocket the phone went.

6:19 pm: Message from Caitlin: "Where r u". Hmm, yet another text that I didn't manage to reply to.

6:46 - 6:47: I finally got back to Alex, and he (to my surprise) messaged back instantly, he was still in line for the toilets. At 7pm I got another text from Alex: "Dude im still in the toilej line".

7:17 pm: Lina, Neil and myself had been long separated from the main group, when I got a text from Hank-Anthony: "hey where r u guys?". Yet another message I failed to send out a reply to, and in hindsight it's no wonder we couldn't find anyone all night.

Between 7:19 and 8:07 pm: I got a string of messages from Alex, telling me to meet him at the first shade tent. I think Neil, Lina and I were sitting on the ground in the middle of the festival in hope of somebody finding us - not a chance. A bit earlier we had found Trish and lost her again. I also think this may have been the point where I lost my wallet, and everything in it. While sitting on the ground, I must have taken it out of my pocket, put it on the ground and left it there. You idiot!

Probably around 8:10 pm: The three lonesome travelers stumbled our way to the first shade tent, where everyone was sitting there just chillin'. No rest for the weary though, as Lina and myself had to go to the toilet again. Of course, the lines were even longer, and I think we kind of barged our way into a frontal position and managed to hold it (in both senses of the word). Perfect. While I was in the cue I remember having a conversation with this chick that was next to me in the line. Well, if conversation is right way to put it... it was a bit more like a series of drunken noises exchanged between two people who were in desperate need of a toilet... in anycase, it worked out well as we both protected each other's position in the cue, beating back the drunken rabblers attempting to jump in front of us. I, being the gentlemen I am, went in before her.

8:20 pm??????: Well, at this point I realised that my wallet was no longer in my pocket, and the dread of losing everything in it should have hit me like a train... but it didn't. Furthermore, Lina so kindly lent me 8 tickets for another pint of Heineken, just to ease the pain. I think at this point I bumped into mutual friend of the day, Dane, the guy I sold my ticket to earlier in the piece. I can barely remember what was exchanged during this meeting, infact, I'm not 100% convinced it was even him!

Between 8:20 and 8:55: I think we just sat around for a while with everyone back at the first shade tent... I don't remember exactly who was there. Kurt was, and he made me give him quite a bit of my last beer. Alex continually stated he was "fucked" and wasn't gunna drink anymore. Syngeon was spacing, Nicola and Robbie were next to me... or maybe we wandered for a bit, because I specifically remember bumping into Erin and exchanging phone numbers, and I'm pretty sure she put in a number that wasn't mine... oh well.

9:00 pm: Since I didn't have any way of getting home (my smartrider was in my wallet), I decided I would have to get a lift home with Alex's wonderful mother. I am forever in her debt. As we walked towards the location where we were to be picked up, we both agreed we had to pee "so bad", and so to the nearest tree we went. I remember there was a girl coming out of the same patch of trees pulling up her pants... classy, then again who am I to talk? Just as I was about to go, Lina called, and as much as enjoyed talking to her, the wait was agonising, and the convo was a little rushed.

9:30 pm: As I got dropped off at the bus stop near my house, there were a couple of random people standing around, 3 in fact, 2 girls and a guy. It just so happens that they had just came back from Oktoberfest too. Then one of the girls asked me to come to some place in Freo with her. Hmmm, that sounded like a grand adventure, until I realised I had no money, no id, no hope. I dispiritedly turned her down and trudged home in disappointment.

11:43 pm: The night ended with me getting a call from Caitlin, wondering "If you are still here". No I told her, and that I left early because of my lost wallet. Then I listened as she went on an angry rant about someone stealing it, and that I should get a gun, and that if I had a gun I could have shot the person who stole it. Fair enough. The conversation ended with her saying "seeya on Monday". "Ok" I said, even though I knew I wouldn't see her 'til at least Wednesday. And that pretty much summed up the night, the night of utter confusion, mayhem, forgotten messages, lost people, lost wallets and and a whole lotta fun!