Cliffhanger

I miss this, so much...

Monster

You were my conscience, so solid, now you're like water...

It's drowning me. I can feel it taking over. Creeping up on me, lurking under my pillow. A shadow, and a doubt. I joke about it, but I really am so tired and full of pessimism. I just can't help it anymore.

We started drowning, not like we'd sink any farther...

I don't mean to be. I don't want to be. But I feel myself thinking, writing, saying things that I don't mean. It's strange, because I don't feel angry, or sad or anything like that. I feel absolutely fine, normal. And yet, I don't. I can't read. I can't write. I can't sit and watch, either. My mind strays, and the very things that would usually spring to mind aren't there; the humour, how I miss the humour! Replaced by malevolence and sometimes, in fact a lot of the time, blankness.

I let my heart go, it's somewhere down at the bottom...

I can't even hold a proper conversation anymore. Often, the only thing I can muster, the only thing I feel like mustering, are a series of grunts in reply to a question. I've lost all sense of communication, and relation. I'm a million miles away. And I'm tired, so tired! At the beginning of the year I could go out, I wanted to go out, and stay out, dancing, dancing, until day break. It was a waste of a weekend if I didn't. Now, I can barely make it past midnight before I want someone to drag me home and tuck me into my warm bed. I value every second of the weekend I get to spend in the peace and quiet of my room. Lock the door. Draw the curtains closed.

Don't you ever wonder how we'd survive?

I can feel it taking over. I don't think I can fight for much longer. Not long now; not long until I become a monster.

Now that you're gone, the world is ours...